Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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