How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
