How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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