I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
