How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
