I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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