everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
