i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
