I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
