i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
