What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
