can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
