i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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