I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
