What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
