Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
