how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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