Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
