i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
