Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
