I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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