Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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