Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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