I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The adults are the big ones right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
