i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
