Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
