That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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