I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
