Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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