I looked at my own cervix.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
