Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
