I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How external is "for external use only"?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
