Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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