My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My balls are so social today.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
