he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
