My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
