I bet he comes in French.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
