I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
