so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
