she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
