Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
