your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
