I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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