No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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