This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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