If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
