I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
BRING THE BAGELS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
