What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
