At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
