I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
