I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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